Fairfax Collegiate Summer Program

My summer employment has begun- and abruptly ended. It turns out topiary horticulture requires a lot more skill than I had previously thought. I figured using a lawnmower qualified me as moderate-to-experienced in the lawncare field, but No. They were looking for people with a degree in dendrology who had experience working in a barbershop. Fail. So instead I got a job as a teacher at a summer academic program. It's not a summer camp (I am often reminded), and it's definitely not summer school. It's a summer program with all the elements of summer camp and all the academics of a summer school. It's called Fairfax Collegiate Summer Program. I teach the following classes: Intro to Algebra, Math for 5-6 graders, SAT preparation, and Intro to Geometry. So far we've established that I look like James from Big Time Rush on Nickelodeon (Google Image it to give your opinion, if for some reason, you don't watch Nickelodeon like the rest of us) and that I don't know how to divide decimals by hand. Try and try as I might, I can't figure out how these kids are dividing decimals by hand. I have to flit my calculator out to find the answers after yelling 'Look over there! It's Selena Gomez reading Harry Potter with her Polly Pocket!' It's the only way I can sneak in a few hits on my TI-89. I even asked a student, slyly (that's an adjective, not the student's name, Her name was Clyly), to explain how they got their answer (because I had not the foggiest idea). Clyly explained to the whole class how she did her math, and despite every other 11 year old understanding, I was lost. Anyway, besides my new doppelganger status and inability to work with decimals work is going well. We've only had one 911 call in two weeks, and I think my kids learned at least one fact in our two weeks together. Today I started a new session and was not approached by any angry parents so I think I'm going to make it through.

Stella

Yep, last week was an expensive one. But seriously, how could you pass that up? Blogosphere, please meet Stella. Stella is my new Honda Nighthawk CB750. She is everything I ever imagined her to be and more. For those of you who don't see my often, I will fill you in. I took a Motorcycle Safety class two weeks ago and fell in love with riding. I became afflicted with Motorcycle Mania and the only cure was a bike. I searched for hours online for a good bike until I laid eyes on the one above. I knew I had to have her. So I bought her and some accessories (insurance, registration, a helmet) and now I ride her. She is amazing. She was unnamed when I found her but I think she looks like a Stella. So Stella she is.

Duck Beach

Last week I had an amazing time on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. You see, it was Duck Beach Week. If you haven't heard that's sort of the equivalent of a Mormon Spring Break. Girls gone mild, if you will. Lots of Mormon Singles strutting their stuff on the beach without the umbra of alcohol, sex, or drugs. To me it had the feeling of a great reunion. I had friends from Utah, West Virginia, and Kansas fly in just for the event and it was great to see them all. There was food galore, volleyball all day everyday, and parties, games, and hot tub-ing in the evenings. There was Zumba, hammock flirting, crab catching (one pinched me and drew blood), midnight stargazing, sand castle building, Church, and beach cruising. My house housed twenty people and had a billiards room, theater room with a 72" television and stadium style leather couches, a pool and hot tub, two stories of wrap around decks, and a full size sand volleyball court in the back. There's just too much to write about.