Walking to School

Last February I moved out of my aunt and uncle's house into a house of my own.* I had many reasons for wanting to move, one of which was to be closer to my work. The ten minute commute I had was just unbearable. On days when I hit the traffic lights wrong it could take up to 12 minutes, and this was just unacceptable. My rule is if you can't drive where you need to go in one song's length then you needn't go there at all. It usually means I get half way to the grocery store before I have to pull over and walk the rest of the way. It's pretty annoying, but rules are rules. Anyway, my new house is within walking distance to my work. And my Church. And my girlfriend. And more than half way to my grocery store. I'm so close to my work in fact, that I walk to school everyday. 

Walking to work is one of the most underappreciated blessings of life. According to The Atlantic, less than 3% of Americans walk to work. I've also heard that only 2% of Americans are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and less than 2% of Americans grew up without a TV, so... I'm pretty much one of a kind. But back to walking. Here's what I love about walking to school:

• It wakes me up. Seriously, moving around for 15 minutes before starting the work day is ideal. I've gone running before work in the past, but that just gets me tired because I have to get up early and then I'm tired after my run. With a 15 minute walk I don't have to shower after, I only have to get up 10 minutes earlier, and I arrive at work with my blood flowing. 
• It provides great thinking. I get 15 minutes before work and 15 minutes after work to just ponder. What do I think about during the only 30 minutes of my 'alone' time a day? Well, it differs by the day. On Mondays and Fridays I weigh the pros and cons of earbuds verses over-the-ears headphones, mostly. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I usually try to solve the Border/Immigration problem. On Wednesday my mind is always dominated by the intricacies of keys. I just don't get how the ridges line up so uniquely in the keyhole? Beats me.
• Your feet never let you down. Okay, that's not literally true. (Every time I sit down my feet let me down. But then they pick me back up!) When I go outside to walk to work I don't have to scrape the ice off the windshield, wait for the car to warm up, siphon gas from my roommate's car in order to get mine started, or pick a radio station. I just walk outside... and then keep walking all the way to work. My feet always start in the morning- no matter how cold it is, they're always registered and never get tickets, they don't require gas, and I never forget where I left them.
• "But David, it's so cold in the morning! Wouldn't you rather get in your warm car and be at work 2 minutes later rather than walk for 14 minutes in 30F temperatures?" No. Remember how I said I was one of a kind? Cars are a huge convenience and a huge hassle. Feet are reliable.
• I'm a believer in little things. Skip that one extra cookie and it will make a difference. Smile at one extra person and it will make a difference. My commute to work is only 0.9 miles. The economical and environmental impact on not driving those 1.8 miles a day are pretty minimal. But I believe in little things. If everyone in America drove 1.8 miles less a day we would see a huge difference in our pollution. If every  American walked 1.8 miles instead of driving 1.8 miles a day we would see significantly less obesity in America. I believe that that 'through small and simple things are great things brought to pass' (Alma 37:6)

Yep, don't expect me to stop walking to school anytime soon. Also, my feet have been likened to Hobbit feet, which may explain why I love walking so much.

*Six other people also claim my house to be theirs, but whatever.

New York City 2013!

A few weekends ago I had a three-day weekend at school; the extra day being a result of Veteran's Day. How to celebrate, how to celebrate.... How about a two day mini-vacation to New York City! I figured a two day celebration would be the best way to celebrate the three day weekend.
Caity (real name has not been changed. We're over that) and I took the 7:00am bus from DC to NYC. Since you're all wondering, it was the Peter Pan bus. I was hoping for some flying action, but that idea never took off. It was comfy, convenient, and cool, but definitely not colorful. We agreed that was okay.
Upon arriving at 10:45am and being unable to check into the hotel and with our only obligation of the day being at 3:30pm, we immediately wished we had taken the 11:00am bus. Then we would have gotten to sleep in and not missed a dang thing. I thought NYC was the city that never sleeps, but it turns out 11:00am on a Saturday is a perfect time to sleep. Oh well.

Upon arriving the first order of business was to delve into the culinary uniqueness of NYC via the aqueduct of... Chevy's Mexican Chain Train. Actually it's just called Chevy's. I tried to get the most NY dish I could so I went for the San Antonia quesadilla. It was delicious. After that we went for a walk, as all New Yorkers do. We walked and we walked. We walked from midtown to downtown, narrowly avoiding westtown. By the time we arrived at our destination- a little cafe where Caity's brother and his wife were dining- we had logged 4.23 miles. This figure was confirmed by Caity's sextant, which she had conveniently brought along. I thought she might leave it at the hotel, but she insisted on knowing our exact latitude at all times so I lugged it along. It proved crucial to our survival, as you shall see later.
Meeting Caity's brother was splendid. I enjoyed seeing how much alike he is with Caity, and meeting his wife who was lovely. When dudes meet each other it can (and always is) awkward, but when you throw a female in the mix it's not so bad. We hopped on the subway back uptown for hot chocolate at an Italian cafe called 'Eataly.' Ohhhhh man it was hard hiding my excitement for that pun, but I wanted to leave a good impression on Caity's brother so I refrained. We spent the rest of the afternoon together, heading to the 9/11 Memorial. It was really reverent and enjoyable.
After that we took the subway back uptown to Times Square, where we made a reservation at Carmine's. Carmine's is a NY staple for Italian food. I was told it was a staple in Times Square, but I was surprised to learn that they actually use staples in their cooking. That's how they keep the pasta together- staples. They are even brash enough to just use regular, inedible staples. As I munched on pasta manicotti alfredo penne gelato rigatoni it felt like my insides were being assaulted by a staple gun. Their dessert menu includes a staple remover. Not bad though, not bad. After that we ventured to 30 Rockefeller Plaza. From there we went in the general direction of... skytown? We went to the top, basically. From the Top of the Rock we could see the whole city- The Statue of Liberty, The Empire State Building, The Brooklyn Bridge, Central Park, the park in the center, and further to the east, Madrid.
After the Top of the Rock we walked back to the hotel via Central Park. It was not as friendly as it appears in the movie Enchanted. It was poorly lit and the dog walkers with 'Peterson Family Reunion 2013' matching sweatshirts were super sketchy so I made sure to stand between them and Caity, with my grip firmly on the sextant in case... I needed to relay our coordinates to the mounted equestrian officers that roam the park like they wish they at least got a Segway. Our stroll that evening was short.
Sunday morning was delightful. We met Caity's brother and his wife in Central Park (it was light by this point) and we walked leisurely further uptown to Lenny's- a famous sub shop. I got the corned beef and pastrami- a Jewish New York staple without the stomach surgery. Delectable on all accounts.
That afternoon the other couple had to go home, so we said 'Good-bye, it was nice to meet you. See you at Christmas' and Caity and I headed easttown. Our goal was Madrid. There we were, two young lovers walking hand in hand through Central Park. It was pretty spectacular, actually. We saw a couple get engaged directly in front of us (honest to goodness their friend/photographer had to ask us to move because we were in between him and the couple). We golf clapped when she said yes. We saw street performers performing in the street, dog walkers walking dogs, pizza deliverymen delivering pizza, and everything else you come to expect when you're expecting everything, including rain. As the rain fell on the Park that is neither uptown or downtown or midtown- merely Central- we headed to FAO Schwartz. We binged on candy and took pictures with large Lego structures. We then walked back to our bus, stopping at Angelo's pizza on Broadway. It was Angelic, in a masculine sort of way. The bus ride home was fine. Still no flying though.

The whole weekend was just downright awesome. I loved being with Caity, I loved meeting her brother and sister-in-law, and I loved our open agenda. We just went by what we wanted to do and avoided the hustle and bustle that is usually associated with NYC. I'll definitely be back. And if not... at least I can say I will because it's so close.

New School Year

Autumn is a new time for me; a time of beginnings. I'm already starting to wax poetic, and I don't like it. I'll just say I started a new school year- The third of my career. This year I got asked to teach a new class, a Math Strategies class. It's a double dose of math for the students, and they're all weak in math, necessitating this extra math class in lieu of an elective like Art or French. Basically they're not exactly thrilled to be in my class. To make matters even more interesting, it's the last class of the day when everyone is fried and ready to go home. And then, just to make sure the class doesn't get boring, someone decided to make my section the international section for ESL students. Only four of the kids in the class have been in America for more than 2 months. I have a Jordanian who moved here in July, two Iraqis who came to America for the first time in August, a Colombian, an El Salvadorian, a student who is ethnically Eritrean, a Chinawoman, and an Egyptian, just to name a few. The Chinawoman didn't speak a word to me the first two weeks. Only just barely have I gotten her to say "Hi" to me when she walks into class. In May of 2014 these students will take the same state-mandated math test as their American peers, and I will be the one held responsible for their results (no one ever places the blame on the children if they fail...)
Faced with such a monumental task I knew something had to be done. Something different. Something no one has ever tried before. Something so significant it could help a class full of immigrants get caught up with their peers in 9 months. Something so drastic that these math-hating 7th graders would switch gears and ace their end of year test. What, pray tell was my master plan? A joke of the day! I just love jokes.
Everyday at 2:00 o'clock I tell the kids a joke. I don't really have the best jokes to start with, and then throw in that my specialty is puns, which require advanced English knowledge- something these kids don't have. My first two jokes were so bad that the kids didn't even recognize that they were jokes. I told the class they were jokes, and I told the class they were funny and they should laugh, but still some kids carefully wrote them down as class notes. The concept of a joke was entirely above their perception of math class.
Repetition is key for English Language Learners, so I kept doing the joke of the day in hopes that they would catch on. It's been a rough go, but definitely a humorous one. Here's one example:
Me: What does a puppy say when he sits on sandpaper?
(Keep in mind that I act everything out since I'm not sure these kids know what a puppy is, or what sandpaper is. I played the part of a dog and then sandpapered my table.)
Them: Blank stares.
Me: Ruff!
Them: Blank stares. Some writing.
Me: Do you get it? It's a joke? It's funny. You're supposed to laugh.
Them: Blank stares.
Finally one student raised her hand and asked, "Is it funny because sandpaper is rough?"
Me: Yes! That's it! Good job.
Another student: Oh. I thought it was funny because puppies say 'ruff.' I guess I don't get it.
Me: No, that's it! You did get it! It's funny for both reasons! That's why it's funny.
Them: Oh.
I'm not sure if it's the content or the delivery, but the jokes just haven't been working. The students have, however, found it fun to guess the punchline ahead of time. They've become much more animated with the jokes, even if they don't laugh. Here's how another one went:
Me: What's black and white and red all over?
One student: A chess board!
Me: Well, no, those are usually just black and white. No red.
Them: The Iraqi flag! It's red, white, and black!
Me: Okay, that may be true, but remember, this is a joke. It's supposed to be funny.
At this point the students started looking all over the room for something that's black, white, and red. I think they thought we were playing 21 questions. All of their answers were sincere, but not at all close to being funny. I told them it was time for the answer, but they insisted on three more guesses (a chess board, a math textbook, and a candle).
Me: The answer is: A sunburned penguin!
Them: Blank stares.
Me: Do you get it?
Them: But penguins don't get sunburned. They live where it's cold. There's no sun where they live. I don't get it. That's not a joke.
Turns out I get the most enjoyment of anyone with the joke of the day. I'm going to keep it up in hopes that I'm at least teaching these kids some English. Once the English is solidified I'll move onto math.