I love to go to the gym. I don't love the gym (it is articifially lighted, smells bad, is often crowded, and reminds me slightly of a 1920s cotton factory, what with all the machinery), but I do love the feeling of working out and getting fit. I can deal with the bad things inherent to working out, and recently I had some experiences that brought my emotions to all spanning degrees. I was perturbed, pleased, and relieved at the sights I saw. First, I witnessed a young woman doing crunches... while talking on the phone. She had the cellie in one ear while rocking her bod. That didn't annoy me, although I was tempted to call her and see her handle a 3-way call while crunching! Ah Ha! Then I was going to accidently trip in front of her and see if she would reach out to catch me or just carry on with her 'convo.' I also debated releasing a snake in the gym to see how good at multi-tasking she really was, but I didn't have one with me. The next instance was the one that perturbed me. A couple brought their dog to the gym! No, just kidding, but they did bring the baby. They were sitting there doing lat pulldowns while their 8 month old sat in her little seat beside them, getting swotted on (I may or may not have made that word up. It means, 'To have sweat dripped on you').
Places where it is appropriate to bring your baby include: The nursery, a baby shower, or the baby food factory. Places where it is not appropriate to bring your baby include: Scuba diving, jail, a cockfight, and of course, the gym. It is alright to work out without your spouse so that one of you can stay home with Jimmy. Moving swiftly here, the third thing I saw was a young woman full out dancing on the treadmill to herself. Based on her motions, I'm guessing it was a Miley Cyrus song. The was ROCKING out. Her exercising had an element of duality that was unmatched in the dancing or fitness realms. I kind of wanted her autograph. And lastly, I saw a man doing the treadmill sideways. It was mind bending. I thought to myself, "Is that an owl? How does his head face one way but his body faces another?" Upon closer examination, he was doing a grapevine type of movement on the moving walkway. Very peculiar. The gym is a rancid place, wherein I would not want to celebrate my anniversary or Kwanza, but it does entice good feelings nonetheless.