27 April 2010

The Productivity of Idleness

I am home for less than or equal to two weeks before I go to Thailand for the rest of the Summer. Do you know what obligations I have in those two weeks? Well, for one, I definitely feel a responsibility to the freezer to rid it of all its ice cream. I realize it won't be easy, and will probably entail some serious head freezes, but I'm up for the task. My second obligation is to my dog. She needs her toenails clipped. Thirdly, I feel a pressing urge to solve the Global Warming crises before I leave. I'm not entirely sure why this desire has hit me so vehemently, like an armored truck filled with iron bricks rear-ending a Smart Car filled with styrofoam, but it has. My two weeks or less is certainly going to be busy. I have already contacted my dentist about the ice cream situation (she highly advised me to not eat the 11 quarts that are currently in the freezer, and then recommended a doctor to me, who turned out to be a psychiatrist), and I've spoken with the "Laundry-Mutt" about the excessive toenail length. I still have "Call Al Gore" on my to-do list for this weekend. In the meantime, I'm buying local produce to cut back on 'food shipping' emissions, turning off my lights when I leave the room, and I'm attempting to unplug appliances when not in use, such as when I sleep. Yes, this will be a busy two weeks indeed.

P.S. Do you have Al Gore's phone number?

24 April 2010

Flight Sight

Thursday I flew home from the Salty Lake to the Beantown, via Dallas. My flight from SLC to DFW was entertaining due to Chatty Ca*hy as my seatmate (I edited her name for privacy issues). Well, actually she wasn't my mate and we weren't in the same seat so that description may not have been entirely accurate. Anyway, Chatty Ca*hy was an interesting 28 year old single woman swimming in the Salt Lake (that's my way of saying she lives in Salt Lake but isn't a mermaid) headed to Texas for a travel convention. For the first time in all my many flights (excluding the ones to space) I talked with my next-seat-over-friend the entire trip. What did we talk about, you wonder? We exchanged recipes for Kool-Aid (all this time I had been omitting the sugar for taste reasons, but she truly opened my eyes), discussed our favorite The Land Before Time videos, debated the pros and cons of hardcover verses paperback books while kayaking, and rounded out the afternoon with a good old fashioned airplane discussion regarding String Theory. I wanted to bring up the controversial topic of terrorism, but I thought it might not fly on an airplane. (Booyah for the pun.) And plus this was only our first flight together. Maybe if we sit next to each other again we can delve into more personal topics such as a straight or curved back (speaking in terms of haircuts) and the correct singularization of 'Red Sox.' I was impressed with the way Chatty Cat*hy recycled her napkin, by playing with it nervously the entire time she or I acted as interlocutor. I could sense she wasn't much of a wastrel.
The second leg of my two part saga was quite the opposite. I sat next to Whistling Wil*y who didn't say anything to me except whistle really close to my earlobe while I tried to sleep. Anytime I would wake up he would back off immediately and pretend nothing had happened at all, eyeing me nervously. I figured he was probably just an extremely friendly ear, nose, and throat doctor with a passion for helping whatever orifice is most convenient.

04 April 2010


Alright, I'm willing to admit it. I have denied for months that I have been ignoring my blog, and finally I'm ready to come clean: I have not been giving my blog the adequate attention it needs. I have not been reading your blog, you have not been reading my blog, and I have not been updating my blog. I'm sorry. My semester has been very busy academically, I'm dating a girl who delightfully occupies all my spare time when I used to blog, and I'm just feeling creatively drained. I am sorry. BUT, in case you were unaware, I am going to Thailand for three months, in a month. I will be teaching Thai children to speak English, as well as teaching Buddhist monks in their Temple how to speak English. I will be living with a Buddhist host family in Chaing Mai. What I'm trying to say is, stay tuned and don't delete my blog bookmark because I'm hoping to have some really exciting posts in Thailand. I should have more time over there, and I'd love to share my experiences with the Blogosphere.
For good measure, I am attaching one more picture of a pretty sweet dunk in Smith's, the grocery store. That is me.