Today I found myself with a plethora of time, and nothing to do but get shot. Ergo, I took advantage of the wonderful resources of a university- free H1N1 vaccinations for pregnant women! I had to stuff a pillow in my stomach, talk in a really high voice, and wear an all encompassing scarf/hat but I pulled it off. The only time anyone suspected anything was when I accidently checked myself as 'male.' I told them it was an abbreviation for 'female' and they seemed alright with that answer.
The inocculation comes in two forms (at least that they were willing to admit): a nasal spray and a shot. The EMT took one look at me and knew a shot would probably weaken my entire body for weeks- perhaps even crippling my cheek bones- and suggested the nasal spray. When I went to get my inhalation the nurse who administered to me was no older than twelve years of age. I think it may have been Take Your Daughter to Work Day, and she was the daughter. When she told me to tilt my head back so that she could shove an object up my nose I didn't know if it was going to be a crayon or the spray. I tried hard to get in a different queue (even though it meant waiting longer) but she signaled for me to join her and her barbies. I was worried she was going to accidently stick the nasal spray into my mouth or eye or ear or some other bodily cavity, like my belly button. My belly button does not go all the way though, and hence is not a cavity. I don't know how that got past the editor.
The spray felt like she had taken one of those small cooking torches made for toasting marshmallows and made it implode in my nose.That's a fatuous lie. It didn't hurt at all. I am brave. She gave me a sucker afterwards and said that since I was the only full grown student she had ever seen cry during the nasal spray, I could have two. I took cherry and green apple for Christmas and to fill my mind with good thoughts. The whole experience was innoxious, though I did find the pig pen in the corner a little tasteless.