|There were a lot of important calls to be made on this, my|
first business trip.
- Do I want new towels? The Westin had a very complex system of towel washing, where you had to leave the towels on the ground if you wanted them replaced. Who on Earth came up with that idea? The thing that perplexed me most was, where on the ground? I ended up throwing them all out the window, and they were most certainly not replaced the next day.
- Do I want to use both shower heads or just one? The Westin has a (supposedly) patented dual shower head where one is always on, and the second has a switch to turn it on or off. I would have been fine if there was no explanation, but then they threw in this bit about conserving water and preserving renewable resources and before I knew it I was feeling guilty taking a shower. Flummoxed as to what I should do to stay clean while still being considerate of Mother Earth, I opted for a waterless shower. This was especially applicable since all my towels were on the pavement 9 floors below me. I lathered myself with antibacterial disinfectant, washed my face with a Chlorox wetnap, then spent an hour applying lotion so that my skin wouldn't dry out. When I finally went to bed I didn't feel much cleaner.
- What to watch? The Westin had so many channels it was crazy. There were sports game, infomercials, movies, and sitcoms all at my fingertips. Do most people get more than 4 channels? I have no idea. When I'm faced with so many choices I usually ask myself, "What would Jesus do in this situation?" This maxim has saved me from a lot of trouble, except for the time I brought wine to a Mormon wedding instead of water, and the time I mistook the Temple Recommend desk for a money changing table and flipped it upside down in a fit of anger. But other than that it's been a great philosophy to live by. I ended up watching a carpenter channel.
- How many pillows do I want? My Mom once told me some pillows are for sleeping on, and some are for decoration. I remember that part, but I have no idea how to tell which is which. They all looked white and fluffy to me. I bit into one to make sure it wasn't a marshmallow, and sure enough it wasn't. To solve this problem I came up with an ingenious solution. I invited my co-worker over for a pillow fight, and told her she got all the decorative pillows to use, and I'd take the rest. Is that not a brilliant way to learn the difference without having to admit you can't tell a pillow apart from a marshmallow or what? I was pleased with myself. When I called her she asked why she could hear wood being cut in the background and asked if I was destroying the furniture. It's like she had no trust in me or something.
- The final question on my mind regarding my responsibilities with the estate was, "How do I want to wake up in the morning?" At home I have an alarm clock, but I left it at home. At The Westin I could use a wake-up call, but I feel like my most recent doctor's appointment where I was diagnosed with a cat allergy was enough of a wake-up call to last me through the year. Should I use my cell phone alarm clock? I'm always skeptical at using biological instruments (i.e.- a cell phone) as a time keeping device. I could open the blinds and let the sun wake me up old school, but then I remembered there were at least two set of blinds/drapes on the windows and I wasn't smart enough to open even one of them, nevermind two. In the end I decided the only logical thing to do was to buy a rooster. There weren't many rooster shops open at 11:00pm in Virginia Beach, so I settled for buying an alarm clock that made a rooster noise. It worked great.
|Watching the carpenter successfully measure |
once and cut twice.
|Asleep at last. I don't remember taking|
this picture, but when I woke up in the
morning it was on my phone...
Somehow I survived this momentous occasion. My mother was so proud of me when she learned all the things I accomplished, and a little disheartened that I couldn't tell the difference between decorative pillows and sleeping pillows. Perhaps I should have asked the parking attendant...