07 April 2008

Tried, Fried and Denied: One Hit Wonders and Blunders in the Kitchen

This year one of my resolutions was to cook more and it's time for a reporting. I got a chinese cookbook while home for Christmas break and that pretty much occupied all of my culinary experiements for the first quarter of the year. But then I made some adjustments and branched out more. The following are some meals I made, the story behind them, and a rating on the finished product:
1.) Ketchup on Salad. Most people can observe basic catastrophes by introspection, but it takes a good, solid experiement for me to learn them. David's Thoughts: "Hmmm. I have a salad but no dressing. My salad doesn't have any tomatoes in it, and I sure do like tomatoes in my salad. Wait a minute! Ketchup has a tomato base doesn't it? Ketchup comes in a bottle like salad dressing, and it does kind of taste like tomatoes. It will be a fine substitute!" FALSE! Rating: F
2.) Honey. It goes great on everything. Probably even salads. Rating: A+
3.) Salmon Burgers. I heard that fish is really good for you, and I found a receipe for salmon burgers using canned salmon in "A Man, A Can, and A Plan." It sounded Can-tastic so I bought all the ingredients and proceeded to cook. It was made of salmon, eggs, saltines and a few other ingredients I choose to forget. I didn't realize it made enough for at least four burgers. After eating one, there was still a lot of "batter" left. For some strange reason, no one wanted to try it out. Long story short, I couldn't bare to see all my hard work go to waste so I choked down two more salmon burgers over the next twenty four hours before giving up and tossing what was left. Good thought, bad execution. Rating: C-
4.) Rice Cake Pizza. I was actually prompted to make this from a suggestion on the back of the rice cake bag, one of the most dependable place to find a receipe. For a crust there was a "light butter" rice cake; the sauce a chunky, tomato, pasta sauce. Then I sprinkled some parmesan cheese on top (it doesn't spread easily on tomato sauce, watch that!) and then topped it off with some imitation bacon bits. This pizza had unpredictable sapidity. A great snack for all the moms out there just trying to feed their kids some healthy after-school food! Rating: B+
I have had many other great memories in the kitchen and out, but I'm afraid that's all I got for now. Carpe diem and Have a fantastic day!


justpulse said...

So I just about fell over with laughter after reading your ketchup on salad experience. I'm proud of you for being so adventurous in the kitchen. I should send you the recipe for my pie and you could give it a shot, too.

Likeursoperfect said...

Oh my heck...I think your kitchen adventures are pretty hysterical. Do you have any others?

Emily said...

Let's see...what are my best kitchen wonders and blunders? Maybe the beautiful heart-shaped sugar cookies I made for Jeff for Valentine's Day, and had to promptly throw out because they were inedible (Mom invited me up for a domestic weekend after that one) or my seventeen attempts at making cornbread for Thanksgiving dinner (Jiffy finally saved the day). As for the wonders...well, we went to a great restaurant this weekend!