17 January 2009

Oh the Things You Hear at the Gym...


I enjoy working out. Usually sweaty, guy-dominated, crowded buildings with fearful fetor are not really my scene, but I love the feeling of a good workout and knowing that I actually deserve the ice cream sundae that always follows a gym excursion, piled so high with candy and imitation fruit that even my personal trainer thinks it looks good. But there's an entirely different aspect to the workout experience that is only available in the gym: eavesdropping. This week I heard two comments that were especially meaningful to me. The first one, that rang in my ears like a fire alarm pulled by a young whippersnapper, was, "Wallace... I love you!" Wallace is the glue that holds David to Bennett in my life, but not many people in the contiguous United States refer to me that way. So when I heard it, and then those three words that followed, I was really curious to know whose mouth it sprung from. Turns out, there must be another Wallace on campus because Cupid's arrow was not aimed at me.
The second incidence of over hearing-ness was from two girls stretching on the gymnastics mats. One of them turned to the other, hugging her knee close to her heart like she was trying to revitalize herself via genuflection, and said, "You know, I think I have pretty bad strech marks on my butt." I winced as I thought what might come next; "Hmm, let me see, I will compare them with mine" or "You only have to start worrying about those when you're pregnant." (I don't know what stretch marks have to do with pregnancy, but I always hear women using those two words together...) And finally, one last quotable quote. Pardon my French, but this is a true story. While at the BYU bookstore, purchasing my books that were exorbitantly priced, I waited in line for the next available checkout lady. While waiting I witnessed the register ring up the total for the young man in front of me. And then a funny thing happened. He received his receipt, and said out loud, teeming with disbelief and in need of a good ice cream sundae, "S@#$" as his eyes lit up like two lampposts. It was really funny, but only because it happened at BYU. People say the darndest things. If I could go back and hear more about any of those conversations, it wouldn't be the one at the bookstore (I already know how that freshman felt), it wouldn't be the woman who knows a Wallace and loves him, it would definitely have to be the lady with stretch marks? I mean seriously, how is she going to deal with that? What about when she's pregnant?

3 comments:

Carson said...

You should introduce me to this girl at the gym......I have the same problem. I have tried everything to get rid of those darn stretch marks. the odd thing is that I never had them before I started eating at the Cannon center....

lartobs said...

Wow dave. Your thoughts are deep. There are words in there that i don't know what in the world they mean. And stretch marks.... google it.

Carly Jo Porter said...

umm are you for real? you really make me laugh so hard.