31 October 2009

Check out the Self- Help Section If You Suffer From These

You might be in need of some life adjustments if you have ever experienced the following:
1.) You leave the country for two months without your cell-phone, and upon returning home you have only one message on your machine. Ironically, the message was one that you sent to yourself at the airport as you departed. It might (hypothetically of course) go like this, "Hey [insert arbitrary name here, like perhaps Wallace], it's Wallace from America. I hope you have a great time in Europe! I'll see you when you get back! Love, Wallace of the past."
2.) Your new favorite movie is about a 12 year old Swedish Vampire girl. Consequently, you are scared out of your wits of 12 year old Swedish girls, just in case they are bloodthirsty. Then, that fear extends to all 12 year old girls, and ultimately to all females.
3.) The majority of your texts come from www.dictionary.com, equipped with the Word of the Day.You get excited to see them, and anticipate their arrival daily.
4.) When faced with a breakfast television watching decision between a Beyonce music video and the Utah Education Network, you choose the Education Network. (I only stayed on UEN because it was describing an auspicious math lesson; otherwise Beyonce wins me over anytime. Heck, I even named my car after her!)


Megan said...

1. I came home from Europe with only one message as well, but my message was from Sean in Ireland and I was only in Europe for 5 weeks.
2. Maybe you should wait until you actually meet a 12 year old Swedish vampire before you let your fear spread to all females. What you should really fear is the American remake called "Let Me In" that is going to be released next year.
3. I'm glad to see you are continuing your dad's Word of the Day tradition.
4. I probably would have stuck with the Beyonce music video, but I can understand your choice. If it had been something about dance education or anatomy or something, I would have definitely picked the UEN.

Lauren Palmer said...

I'm going to start texting you. Just to help a brother out.