10 November 2009

I Don't Mean to be Sketchy

Yesterday while perambulating home from school in the crepuscular evening, I had a semi-unfortunate exigency happen. (If you don't know all those words, don't fret, neither do I. Just playing, I know them.) I was walking perhaps 30 feet behind a female with a hood on. I have a significnatly bigger stride than her ("One small step for a woman, one leap for a man" -Buzz Aldred or something. Was that offense? Sorry). I was gaining ground on her, and she could tell because my pesky shadow was accosting her- unabridged, and much to my dismay but not my disposal. I started to speed up in an effort to pass her, but then so did she. She never glanced back, but just kept her head straight forward. And then, I kid you not, she glanced back at me with one terrified eye (she had two eyes, but only one was terrified) then increased to a run. I felt terrible. *I started to run after her to let her know I was harmless, but then she just started screaming. Naturally I started screaming too, which didn't seem to help. She tripped, and when I approached her to assist in her prostrated state she kicked me in the face, like a mule! Then she ran off and I found $20 on the ground. Everything before the * was true, everything after it was fradulent. Maybe I will make the Police Beat this week.

7 comments:

Carson said...

Please save the Police Beat and bring it to lunch on Thursday so we can read it.

brook said...

Although your attempt at using big vocabulary words is laudable, i would challenge you to a duel of words with alacrity.
Bring it, white boy.
On a different note, i've made the police beat twice, and have neglected to keep both for my posterity. Noxious as this may be to my reputation, I find it quite a commendable feat to make it into the beat.
Congrats ahead of time.

Carly said...

Dave- Here is a link to a bunch of maps of UVU campus- http://uvu.edu/visitors/visit/find/index.html

And I can see why that girl started running. You are a scary specimen.

Megan said...

My rehearsal last night concluded at 9 o'clock, subsequently followed by my own perambulation to my car through the dark paths behind the tennis courts. I'm glad I wasn't attacked by a dangerous man, such as yourself.

Cat said...

Well, you can be terrifying. And I'm really disappointed you didn't find $20. My condolences.

Michelle said...

I have no idea what the police beat is, but this is soooo funny. HA. I'm still laughing about it... Maybe you should stop being such a creeper, Dave.

Emily J said...

Ha! Yep, you are pretty scary.