10 November 2009
I Don't Mean to be Sketchy
Yesterday while perambulating home from school in the crepuscular evening, I had a semi-unfortunate exigency happen. (If you don't know all those words, don't fret, neither do I. Just playing, I know them.) I was walking perhaps 30 feet behind a female with a hood on. I have a significnatly bigger stride than her ("One small step for a woman, one leap for a man" -Buzz Aldred or something. Was that offense? Sorry). I was gaining ground on her, and she could tell because my pesky shadow was accosting her- unabridged, and much to my dismay but not my disposal. I started to speed up in an effort to pass her, but then so did she. She never glanced back, but just kept her head straight forward. And then, I kid you not, she glanced back at me with one terrified eye (she had two eyes, but only one was terrified) then increased to a run. I felt terrible. *I started to run after her to let her know I was harmless, but then she just started screaming. Naturally I started screaming too, which didn't seem to help. She tripped, and when I approached her to assist in her prostrated state she kicked me in the face, like a mule! Then she ran off and I found $20 on the ground. Everything before the * was true, everything after it was fradulent. Maybe I will make the Police Beat this week.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
Please save the Police Beat and bring it to lunch on Thursday so we can read it.
Although your attempt at using big vocabulary words is laudable, i would challenge you to a duel of words with alacrity.
Bring it, white boy.
On a different note, i've made the police beat twice, and have neglected to keep both for my posterity. Noxious as this may be to my reputation, I find it quite a commendable feat to make it into the beat.
Congrats ahead of time.
Dave- Here is a link to a bunch of maps of UVU campus- http://uvu.edu/visitors/visit/find/index.html
And I can see why that girl started running. You are a scary specimen.
My rehearsal last night concluded at 9 o'clock, subsequently followed by my own perambulation to my car through the dark paths behind the tennis courts. I'm glad I wasn't attacked by a dangerous man, such as yourself.
Well, you can be terrifying. And I'm really disappointed you didn't find $20. My condolences.
I have no idea what the police beat is, but this is soooo funny. HA. I'm still laughing about it... Maybe you should stop being such a creeper, Dave.
Ha! Yep, you are pretty scary.
Post a Comment