The front page article in the BYU newspaper on Friday was: Swimmer Surprises Herself, Coaches.
Like a fresh dollup of minty toothpaste, this conjured many ideas in my head, such as the following:
Was she playing hide-and-seek and forgot she was the one hiding?
Was she playing peek-a-boo and forgot that is was her face behind the mysterious hands?
Did she throw herself a surprise birthday party?
And how did she surprise her coaches?
Was she hiding in the dirty towel hamper, and jumped out at them? When was the last time you used the word 'hamper'? Should that last quotation mark go on the inside or the outside of the question mark?
Did she surprise her coaches in a good way? A bad way? Perhaps after a semester of idolatry she surprised them with a visit to the gym?
With my interest at his absolute peak, ready to fling itself off the precipice of perplexity, I turned to lucky page 13 to read the article. But alas, I didn't get very far due to the title on that page: Freshman Swimmer Rises to the Top.
Does this imply she was at the bottom? Was she diving for aquatic rings? Had she drowned, and the lifeguards brought her to surface level? Was the surprise that she survived?
I will probably never read the article, and yet it still conquered my curiosity and bombinated my head with pregnant preguntas. I'm not quite sure that last sentence made sense, but then again I don't speak Spanish. That, my friends, is a sign of truly fantastic journalism. Live on Daily Universe, Live on.