20 January 2010

Melanoma School of Beauty

The Marinello School of Beauty- or as I like to call it, the Melanoma School of Beauty, due to the excessive evidence of tanning bed frequenters- was the sight of my most recent hair trimming. I had not heard of it until I saw their signs at the old Bon Lose it of Comedians and realized the mantle had been passed on from one beauty school to another. The first thing that struck me when I walked in was the array of trophies christened in a glass case below the receptionist. My curiosity fully engaged, I genuflected to get a better look at what type of awards could be won by a beauty school. Best Hair on a Receptionist? Best Fake Tans? Most Professional Shampooers? Least Likely to Cut Your Ear Off? Nope, the tallest guerdon was labelled as follows, and I know because I wrote it down:
First Place: Student Fantasy Bal Masque 1995
Written exactly like that. Let me break this award down.
I was curious to know if 'Bal' was part of an elite beautician's lexicon that I was oblivious to, but a quick online dictionary search revealed 'Balmoral,' 'Baluchistan' and 'Basic Assembly Language.' It's also a religion in India. Something tells me none of those were the intended meaning for the award. Perhaps 'Ball Masque?'
Secondly, the award has nothing to do with winning a beauty competition. Did the Melanoma School win a dance contest? I just don't get it. Did the receptionist's daughter win a spelling bee? Thirdly, what's up with the year? 1995 was fifteen years ago, practically before Provo was even founded. Have they done anything noteworthy since then?
My hairdresser was a middle aged woman with kids at home- likely starting a second career. She had just had Lasik surgery and was still wearing an eye patch; I just prayed it wouldn't affect her vision as she swiped scissors over my scalp. The strangest thing, however, was that she turned my head away from the mirror and towards the girl sitting next to me- for the whole haircut. It was a mystery what I looked like, but I sure as heck knew what the girl next to me looked like. It got a little awkward after about ten minutes of staring at the girl's face. I just love getting my haircut. I have now been to several hair schools so if you ever need a recommendation I can offer you some advice, based on price, location, and most importantly, overall experience. If you want a beauty school with some awards to back it up, just check out the Melanoma School of Beauty.

1 comment:

Megan said...

Haircuts for women are a lot more expensive than for men, but I wonder if I really spend more money in the long run. I only get my haircut once a year and I don't get it colored, so it makes me wonder if you or I spend more money on salon services per annum. Hmm....