24 May 2011

Some Timely Sporty Observations

I've been watching a lot of sports games the past few weeks. The NBA playoffs are in full swing (basketball), the NHL hockey playoffs are full throttle (hockey), and I'm currently following two baseball teams- the Nationals of Washington and the Boston Red Sox. It's a full time job keeping up with all these sports (reading news articles online, reading the sports page in the morning, listening to sports radio, checking scores on my phone, and managing relationships not based on sporting events); thankfully I have the time right now. I've made some observations that I would like to impart for your benefit and the benefit of my Iowan readers, who, by my estimation, don't know what hockey is.
Hockey Fights- I've watched a handful of hockey fights this season and they are always entertaining. Here are funny things about hockey fights:
  1. The players have so many pads on they can hardly even reach the other person. Their arm movements are very limited and they can never seem to get very close to each other because, well, they are standing on slippery ice. Actually landing a punch is about as common as a spelling 'Welcome' with a 'k.'
  2. The players have so many pads on their punches don't even hurt. If by some chance they do land a punch the chances of it hitting any bare skin are slim to none. Trying to attack a person who's dressed to withstand an imminent, flaming meteor is just not a smart move.
  3.  In addition to hockey fights, I love it when a player drops his stick and then can't pick it up because his glove fingers are too puffy. It's really funny. Hockey is such a great sport: Go Bruins!
Onto the basketball front, there's been one main observation I've made while watching many, many playoff games. It is this: Basketball players are always hunched over. Go watch a game and you'll see what I'm talking about. They're like cavemen with their knuckles dragging on the parquet (but luckily they aren't generally slavers). Basketball is my favorite sport to play and I too turn into Quasimodo when I hit the court... with my knuckles.
Now for my baseball observations. I've been blessed to attend 3 Nationals games thus far, and watched a few other games this season. The baseball season nearly has more regular season games (162) than basketball (82) and hockey (82) combined, and it leads to an arduous season. As a result the players tend to get a little bored. I love watching an 'attentive' third baseman spinning his glove on his finger as the pitcher goes into his windup. I enjoy watching a right fielder doing cartwheels while the shortstop pulls out How to Win Friends and Influence People in an effort to finish the chapter before anything happens. Baseball really is a great sport, especially in person. If you haven't been to a game this year come visit me and we'll go watch the Nats.


Carson said...

You forgot to mention your participation in fantasy baseball.

Brian R. said...

I'm surprised that no hockey players have figured out that they are basically skating around on knives. I mean, what would deal more damage? A glorified sockem-bopper of a glove, or a knife strapped to your foot? Also, who thought it was a good idea to take off your helmet in a fight? These guys seriously need to rethink their weaponry and fighting tactics. Maybe hockey fights should be more like medieval jousting matches.