02 January 2012

A Manly Spa Day

Just to clear up any loose ends, my fish died right before Christmas. I changed his water then went to dinner. Upon returning his bowl was empty, much to my bewilderment. I then did some investigative work, which included looking down, and found his dried carcass on the ground. It appears he leaped to his death. In unrelated news, I made sushi later on.
With the exception of the formal, family fish funeral, I have had a pretty spectacular few weeks. Two of my man friends came up to spend the Christmas weekend with me in DC. First we went to the zoo lights, then we saw 'Sherlock Holmes' and went to the Botanical Gardens, and then we had a spa day.
The Spa was a Koren style spa in Centerville, that was unlike anything I have ever been in. We were hoping there would be lots of attractive women there, but it turned out to be mostly composed of Korean families and gay, Eastern European men. Woops. But anyway, the spa had several different poultice rooms that, to my surprise, had nothing to do with poultry or the police. These were little kilns that fit up to eight humans in them and had different themes. There was the clay theme, the ceramics theme, the hot glaze theme, the pottery theme and the like. Just messing- no potters here.
One of them was called the red clay ball room where you bury yourself in warm red clay balls, about the size of marbles. They feel great on your skin. Another room was literally a kiln, and reached a temperature of 188F. I no longer have eye brows. One room was the ice room where the walls were covered in ice. It was fun to chill in. Another room smelled like something natural and fruity- quite nice. In each room you were given a wooden block to use as a pillow and spa issued clothing. This was the North Korean influence on the spa I presume.
But then we had the gender specific nude pool. It was so much more than a pool however. There were three hot tubs, a cool tub, a dry sauna, a foggy sauna, an infared laying location (still not sure what that does for you besides give you cancer), lots of underwater jets, and several personal grooming stations. It kind of felt like a four hour shower. My favorite room was the steam sauna. They scented the steam with eucalyptus which was absolutely, chockingly fantastic. Total relaxation is the best way to describe the spa experience. We had a great time and if you want to come in the future, it's a great coed activity in the poultice rooms and a great nudist activity in the pools. Your pass allows you to stay for 24 consecutive hours. There's a gym in there, a sleeping room, a restaurant, wi-fi, and everything you need to be relaxed.
And finally, a great big Holla Atchya! to 'An Independent Mormon Angkor' for clearing up the confusion about Gnarls Barkley and Cee Lo Green. It actually makes sense now.


Anonymous said...

Sir David, thanks for keeping my anonymity even though you know who I am... I am sorry to hear that your fish died, but it was a bittersweet lost and at least, it was a delicious meal in the end.

The Korean Spa sounds exhausting with all the different perfume rooms, although I like the eucalyptus smell because it is pleasant and strong (very MASCULINE). An hour would be sufficient, but beyond that, I would get bored and fly to the Amazon Rainforest. Please come...to the land of unparalleled biodiversity and mud-- very clean, indeed.

The traditional saying of "cleanliness is next to Godliness" is not found in the Bible nor the BoM or D&C/PoGP. It derived from a sermon from John Wesley in 1778, however barrowed from Hebrew and Babylonian proverbs. That saying promoted the correlation between hygiene and physical cleanliness to spirituality, but it can also be interpreted as keeping one's mind and heart clean, which I think is more or equally as important.

An Independent Mormon Angkor

Anonymous said...

PS: the last sentence should say, "..which I think is more important" and not "equally as important." Because when we die, we take the internal matters and leave the physical matters.

Poor fish, its limited experience was filled mainly swimming in a container, but maybe it was content just swimming there.

An Independent Mormon Angkor

Emily said...

I am glad you enjoyed your mandate to the spa. It sounds awesome. We'll have to make it one of these days. Sorry about the fish. I love your funny writing.

Megan said...

We had three beta fish a few years ago. Two of them jumped to their death. I hope it was worth it to them.