The other day I created a prodigious playlist titled "Soft Rock Hits." Now, before you are quick to judge, allow me to dissect the risible meaning of that name. For one, I have no idea what a "Soft Rock" is. I have never seen one, felt one, and by every sense of the word it is a blistering contradiction. Are they used to stone adulterers? Will your house still stand when the winds blow if it is built upon a (soft) rock? Can they be cultured for pillows? As the questions filled my head, and just when my confusion was at a maximum, I read on and finished the sentence with "Hits." Soft rock hits? That definitely sounds like a watered down punishment. Does it even hurt to be hit with a soft rock? If you say it really fast and outloud it sounds like "Soft Rockets," which may or may not be what Iran is building at this very moment. Lexicography aside, my playlist is a real gem. Its make-up includes the wonders of The Fray, Rod Stewart, Bruce Springsteen, John Mayer, Paolo Nutini, The Killers, Matchbox Twenty, Jack Johnson, Coldplay, Eva Cassidy, Journey, Boston, Gwen Stefani, The Flaming Lips, Celine Dion, Elvis Presley, Beyonce, Moby, Snow Patrol, Alicia Keys, Sarah McLachlan, A.R. Rahman, and U2. If you aren't feeling relaxed by now, let me mention one more artist: Phil Collins. Yes, it is a stellar playlist. Now if only I could figure out how to make it produce music and not just sit unguided in Windows Media Player, like a poor, parentless child giving high fives to college students on a sunny afternoon.
Basically the point of this post was to get me some real estate in order to once more bring to your attention: OCTOBER 1st 2009. It is around the corner. Check back on Holla Atchya to find out why it is significant. (I will give you a hint: It has to do with a pregnant man who also happens to be a bio-chemist. I should be stoned with a soft rock for writing that).