The Babysitters Club Never Had Any Guys

Yesterday I babysat a cute little girl, and it made for an interesting afternoon. It would have been much less interesting if she had been of babysitting age, and not 18. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be giving her a ride to basketball practice or dating her? Naw, that's a lie. But I did babysit a cute little girl and she was under two years of age. I felt like a Dad, and it made me realize how unprepared I am for children. A diaper bag? What's that? Why are there graham crackers in the diaper bag? Are they edible? Are they associated with the diaper? What is this strange top on the bottle? Am I supposed to take it off when I give the baby the bottle? It reminds me of an experiment I did with beakers in high school chemistry. How the heck to you work these full body seat belts in the stroller? Are we going to be 'strolling' along or going Mach 3 here? Can babies jump out of their strollers? Do I have to worry about seagulls eating her graham crackers? These, and many more, were the questions impregnating my mind over the course of my ten minute babysitting job while the mother went to the restroom.

I took the babe for a walk, hoping that maybe her adorable face would help me pick up ladies, much like a little puppy or a fancy umbrella would. It turns out, every girl I passed thought the baby was mine! Imagine that! Apparently all it takes is a diaper bag, a ruksack and a pram to be a father!
I also learned that I am not a good multitasker as long as one of the tasks is pushing a stroller. I had my phone in one hand on an active call, and the other one pushing the stroller while holding my friend's purse (aka diaper bag). When I saw my other friend across the way (that I wanted to wave to) it was just too much for the duality of my hands. The baby pram went into the hedge, my friend didn't see me wave, and the active call was temporarily deactivated. Luckily babies are quick to forgive, and after pulling some sticks out of her hair and some graham cracker bribes she was happy again. There was no billingsgate spoken by me or the baby, so innocence was preserved. It's only germane that the Lord's plan includes having a spouse before children, because He knows we guys sure do need some training. All in all, I had a delighful time babysitting and there's only one way to get better, practice!