07 January 2010

Self-Titled (Honks)

I decided to invest in a pair of finger warming raiment, so I went to buy gloves at my favorite Dollar Store, Honks. They advertise that "It's always an adventure at Honks!" and with undue reservation I have to agree, although perhaps not in the same way they were thinking. Honks is a recent discovery for me, and I love it like a headphone loves an ear. I have bought birthday presents, Halloween costumes, 'butter' toothpaste, and a myriad of other items there, as you shall see if you choose to read on.
At Honks I found a pair of gloves that looked thick, durable, and warm for one dollla dolla bill. In the 'exciting' store they looked meritorious, but I learned later that they are gardening gloves... They are not warm, they don't stay on my digits, and they are turning my thumb green. They have zero use in January, February or March. Failure #1- but still an adventure! How come I didn't notice they were for gardening in the store?
Next I went in search of non-prescription glasses. I wanted to look more intelligent and to have the whole glasses experience everyone is raving about these days. I found a pair of groovy glasses for, you guessed it (hopefully)- one dolla dolla bill. They even had a choice of two or three colors! I chose the manly black. When I was purchasing them the cashier lady (who looked precisely how you'd imagine an employee of Honks to look like) asked me what kind of construction I was in. I gave her a look saturated with nebulousness and she followed up with "Well, you are buying workman safety goggles so I figured you were a contractor or something." Failure #2- but still an adventure! How come I thought they were stylish and she thought they were merely for protection? What's wrong with me? Am I that out of whack?
The third thing I love about Honks is the one item they sell for over one dollar? Can you guess? Birthday cards with $2.49 stamped on the back? No! Dishtowels from "Crete and Barreling?" Nope! Surfboards? Nada! The one item they sell for over a dollar is Coke. It's pretty strange, but it does add to the adventure!
P.S. I just finished reading "Leap of Faith" by Senator Bob Bennett and "The Prince and the Pauper" by Mark Twain. If you want a review, let me know.

4 comments:

Jenny said...

Ellis once told me, "I have this uncle named Bob and I guess he's someone important or something, because my principal wants him to come speak at our school." I asked, "Oh, is he a senator of Utah maybe?" "Yeah, that sounds right."

So . . . I'm glad you read your uncle's book. And, speaking of Ellis, she told me I could come over the week you're babysitting in February. We can play math games!!

Cat said...

I love Honks! I have found the most random things there. And whenever I need something, Honks is the only place that has it. It's a magical place. And I support your quest for glasses.

Becky said...

Just getting caught up on blogs...thanks for the movie reviews, they sound like ones i'll like.

Jessica Sorenson said...

I am laughing. And still laughing. And will be laughing about that for a while. Thanks:)