A Pleasing Plea, Preferrably Perused Promptly

This is one of those publicity posts that are meant to garner attention to a charitable cause, such as collecting and canning acorns for starving squirrels or harvesting beeswax for candles to support the less fortunate living in caves. The cause I am bringing awareness to is one regarding a great friend of mine named Leo. Now, this same cause was promoted on Nie Nie's blog and that same day there were literally an additional thousand hits on the website, so I'm hoping for that same type of success. I am in the process of concocting a little inchoate device meant to repeatedly hit "CTRL R" on my computer tomorrow to keep refreshing the webpage and getting hits for the webpage so that my superiors think I have a lot of sway with the Blogosphere, even if no one reads this post but President Otunbayeva, alluded to in my 200th post. That was not a run-on sentence, it was a half-marathon sentence. Anyway, allow me to hook you into this cause.

200th Post

This is my 200th post. That, in my mind, is momentous. Who knew this blog would last so long? (Perhaps Nostradamus- he was a wise fellow.) This post also nearly coincides with its 10,000 hit. Granted 9,942 of those were from yours truly, bu the remaining 58 were from Holla Atchya! fans like Oprah and President Otunbayeva of Kyrgyzstan.  My first post was on 6 April 2008, a mere 928 days ago, or 2.54 years. There was a major renovation on 1 October 2010 which you may recall, resulting in a new facade. At this time of deep reflection, most of which happened in the shower, I've decided that I need to go back to my blogging roots. I enjoy my earlier posts more than my 2010 ones, and I've identified three vital characteristics that I've strayed from:

1. More pictures.
2. More vocabulary.
3. More humor.

Everyone enjoys a picture, unless you are blind or Brett Favre. Every junior in high school likes to improve their vocabulary in preparation for the PSAT, and everyone besides Eyore and Bill Belichik loves a good joke.  So, I hope the next 200 posts will coruscate even more brightly and that my posts will maintain their laconic yet entertaining content. As always, I'm open for suggestions and new shoes, so make them known or drop them off by my apartment. To finish, I will share a quick joke that should offend at least one person:
Confucian Wisdom: Man Who Run In Front of Car Get Tired. Man Who Run Behind Car Get Exhausted.

A Rap Concert

Tuesday night I went to the much anticipated rap concert at Utah Valley University, featuring Auburn, Iyaz, B.o.B., and Jason Derulo. This was my first ever rap concert and I was feeling pretty legit until I ran into my friend who told me, "Oh yea, my 16 year old sister is going to that!" It's hard to be thuggish when you're surrounded by teenie boppers. Well, I decided not to be deterred and instead put on my bandanna and hat, an icy necklace, a blinging Rocawear belt buckle, baggy jeans, and my basketball shoes. To top it all off I put on my ghetto fab sweatshirt purchased at GenX that is size XXL.
I felt that B.o.B. did the best set. He had a drummer, a bassist, a guitarist, a keyboardists, two back-up singers, and two back-up dancers. He put on a pretty rocking show and I was pleased with all his music (including a sweet MGMT cover song of Kids). At one point he saw some glow-in-the-dark glasses being worn by five people in the dark audience so he called them up on stage. I think he regretted it soon thereafter when they got a little closer and he saw that they were little 14 year olds being chaperoned by their mother... Woops...
I was not impressed with Jason Derulo, but that's probably because I'm a guy. That man is really a lady swooner. He kept lifting up his shirt so we could all get a sneak peak at his abs, and then halfway through his set he just ripped the whole dang shirt off. The girl behind me started crying (no joke). It was slightly reminiscent of the Backstreet Boys concert I went to last month. I mean....
This was my first ever rap/chessy-love-songs concert and I must admit I felt my senses were being lambasted the whole show. The music was so loud it made the ice around my neck vibrate. So many waving hands surrounded mine that I wasn't sure which ones belonged to me. There was so much singing going on that my throat got sore even though I wasn't singing. The whole experience was sort of an out-of-body experience and not in a good way. I did not feel myself because myself was so distracted by everything going on around me. I received a much better perspective on why people do things out of the ordinary in different settings. It was actually kind of scary in a twisted sort of way. I'm thinking that maybe next time I'll stick with a Utah Symphony Orchestra concert.

Uncle David

This post is dedicated to the yet unnamed baby that was born into my family today- hereafter referred to as Ruby J.

My sister Emily has been heavy with something for about nine months, and today it was confirmed that indeed that burden in her belly was a human being. The child manifested herself at about 8am ET this morning, weighing in at six and a half pounds. Ruby J and her mother are both physically healthy, although the real question is on the baby's mental state. More particularly, the biggest question on everyone's mind is: Was Ruby J born a Yankees fan or a Red Sox fan? With her parents split on the issue (actually, they're both Yankee fans now but I'm not yet mentally able to admit that in anything but a parenthetical aside) everyone is awaiting the news as to which way she will sway. Let's take a look at the contributing factors:

• As of press time, the Yankees are up on the Twins of Minnesota 2 games to 0, with the next two games being in the Bronx. This is a bad sign for any hope that she might not be a Yankees fan.
• Her birthday, October 9, has not been kind to Red Sox fans. On 9 October in 1988 the Oakland Athletics completed a sweep of the BoSox for the American League pennant. In 2003 the Yankees defeated the Red Sox 6-2 in the ALCS game two. In 2009 the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim beat the Red Sox in game 2 of the ALDS. Frankly, after a fairly extensive Google search I haven't found anything good that happened to the Red Sox on this day for at least 60 years.
• Ruby J's uncle on the Jackson side has season tickets to the Yankees. Her uncles on the Bennett side have... math teaching skills? Cloud computing skills?

Yes, it appears that Ruby J is going to root for the Bronx Bombers. But, I am trying to stay positive and at least taking delight in the fact that a lot can happen in the time it will take her to be cognizant of the game of baseball (I give her 18 months) and the fact that since she lives in New York she at least won't be a bandwaggoner. At least she'll be true to her home city. I think we can all respect that.
I am very excited to be a first-time uncle, and I think my parent's are thrilled for me as well. Oh yea, they're pretty excited to be grandparents too.
**I'm the worst Uncle ever. Upon posting this I noticed the date at the top says "8th October." Dangit. I guess she was born on the 8th of October. Never mind all that Red Sox stuff above. Maybe the 8th of October is a great day in Red Sox history...

Costumes, Candy, Calamari

Halloween is just around the corner which naturally leads to a discussion of costumes, candy, and calamari. I'll start with the most important of this trifecta- candy. Can the man or woman who invented the term 'fun size' please be required to eat a Snickers bar of this size and describe how fun it is in a 10 page essay, single spaced? I would be interested to read it. What's fun about a candy bar the size of your thumb? If you ask me, the King sizes are way more fun than a 'fun size' candy bar. With the King size bar you get to just keep eating it and eating it. The fun doesn't stop after one bite. Another qualm I have is with Milk Duds. Every time I pop one into my mouth I think there is going to be a nice, moist, milky substance inside. And every time I get a dud. You'd think I would catch on given the name, but it hasn't yet set into my thick skull.
Moving swiftly along to costumes, I was thinking of going as a manatee this year. Their fat, blubbery skin could be easily made out of bacon grease stuffed into trash bags, with a small straw deposited into a hole to breath out of. That sounds exactly how I want to spend my Halloween. Since manatees don't see very well I would just assume the costume's drawbacks and not see either.
Now onto my favorite Halloween treat- calamari. I've been waiting a long, long time to get some seafood in my trick or treat bag, but thus far no one has consented anywhere except at the Smith's Seafood Department during the Children's Trick or Treat Halloween Spectacular I went to last year. They all gave me a funny look when I showed up wearing an old man's costume. I told them I was really only 8, but that my costume was so good many people had been fooled so they shouldn't worry about getting tricked either. I then requested calamari and they gave me one piece of squid which I greatly appreciated.