Insta National Fan (But Still a Red Sox Fan)

Today for Christmas I became a Nationals fan. Actually I've been a fan ever since I went to a game last year, but today's presents sort of made me an insta-Nationals fan. My eleemosynary family helped me out a lot, what with providing me with a new Nationals hat, a new Nationals shirt, and a Nationals gift card worth a lot of Nationals tickets. 'Just add a shirt, hat, and tickets to David. Makes one Nationals fan. Add more or less paraphernalia depending on interest.'
I think I may be the biggest Nationals fan in Boston right now. (Would now be an appropriate time to mention that the Washington Nationals are the national league baseball team in Washington, DC?) As the side picture shows, I am still a Red Sox fan through and through. They have my heart. They have abused my heart. And even still, I find it to be perfectly within reason and non-adulterous to root for a national league team such as the one representing my city for (at least) the next four months.
What do I think of the Nationals? Well, I don't care much for the Cambodian nationals, or much for the nationals of China. But regardless of what you nationalize, I like that the nickname ('Nats') rhymes with hats, and I love baseball hats. That's also why I love the word impavid. Not because it rhymes with hats or Nats (it doesn't), but because it rhymes with saxicavid. I love the idea of rooting for an American National. Nationals are passionate about their country and so am I. The Nationals are a quiet, under-the-radar team. It could be argued that that's because they finished last place in the NL East (winning percentage in 2010- .426) but I think it's because they choose to be. Like math nerds, they are too cool for anyone to notice. Plus, they're better than the Washington Wizards (basketball) who have a winning percentage of .259 (thus far in 2010), and the Washington Redskins (football-winning percentage.357 thus far in 2010) and almost as good as the Ottawa Senators (hockey-.469) who aren't actually from DC but should be, given the name.
Perhaps Senators refers to something else (akin to Canada), like a type of maple syrup or something. Anyway, if you want to go to a Nats game with me this year, hit me up like it ain't no thang. 'Cause I'm their #1 fan. And I'm a Red Sox fan. 

Merry Christmas 2010

Merry Christmas. Seeing as Mary ('Merry') was Christ's mother (Hispanic apparently, given the 'mas'), my holiday celebration around the Winter Solstice would be "Coleen Davidmehr", using my preferred language of German to add emphasis to the David portion. ('Mehr' is to German what 'mas' is to Spanish what 'more' is to English. Remember that for the SAT III- Languages. Coming 2015. I'm in the education field, I know these things. Don't believe a word I say.) This Christmas the Wall of Food alluded to last year is back, more plentiful and copious in fact.  It seems every minute the doorbell rings with someone delivering more goodies. Sometimes they drop off hoodies, but mostly it's just been goodies. Christmas even came a little early when the neighborhood kids all pitched in and bought us a horse. We aren't quite sure why, but we're grateful nonetheless. (Maybe it's because they saw me put my saddle on the saw horse as I tried to lasso the neighbor's yorkie poo?) The neighborhood chillun' rang the doorbell and turned on Leroy Anderson's 'Sleigh Ride' so that when we opened the door Oatsey was right there neighing at the appropriate time of the song (towards the end). It was all very well orchestrated and a nice change from the traditional caroling. Since we didn't really have anything else to do with Oatsey we set him up with some nice accommodations under the Christmas tree. He hasn't complained yet.
Back to the Wall of Food- One of my favorite Christmas traditions. On the Wall of Food there are five boxes of identical fudge. My Church made the dessert as a 'fudge'raiser (David original) and overestimated how much to make. I don't really have anything more to say about it; mostly I just wanted to introduce the aforementioned hilarious joke.
I am thankful for the birth of Jesus Christ at this season. I believe with all my heart that He was literally the Son of God and the Saviour or ALL mankind. I am thankful for His humility and hope that I can be more like him in word and in deed. I hope we are all a little kinder during this time of the year, and that it carries on throughout 2011. Merry Christmas!

Ski Season 2010 #2

I worked hard to get my final Finals done in two days so that I could spend the next four skiing the beautiful Mountains of Zion. I would not recommend taking four final Finals in the first two days of Finals week, saying good-bye to all your friends and extended family, trying to pass a final cleaning check, and moving all in the same week. But, because I did all that, I knew some detoxification was in need. My mind was caliginous and my attitude was deflated like a squished Ginger Snap cookie. But there's nothing like a ski vacation to cheer one up! The first day on the slopes was at Brighton, and included lots of rides off Great Western, Snake Creek Express, and the Crest Express. The Snake Creek Express is a great mid-mountain lift, except for the cobras. If you liked Snakes on a Plane you'd love this chairlift, what with diamondbacks crawling all over the foot rests and around your skis. I will say that all the moving around to avoid the snakes made the trip significantly less cold, however. The Crest Express is sponsored by the toothpaste company and each ride came with a complimentary teeth brushing, spa-like experience. A little mechanical arm came down with the restraint bar and scrubbed your pearly whites as you rode up the mountain. Great Western was the longest of the chairlifts, and included men with eye patches shooting shotguns and revolvers at you from atop horses. It's as if they were replevying us or something.
Day two included a trip to Solitude. Solitude is my favorite ski resort in the world, that I have been to. Solitude was fun, and included a blisteringly fast run down "Challenger" where speeds of 60+ mph were reached by yours truly. By the way, my mother has a GPS watch and measured how far we travelled in a day of skiing. 30+ miles. That's a lot of ground covered.
Day three of the ski vacation turned into a bit of a bust, ski wise. My large toe got destroyed and inoperable due to being squished in a ski boot for two days. It turned a sweet blue color and made my limp. I was going to include a picture but my publicist told me to burn all evidence that I was injured, to keep my safe, healthy, public image.
Day four was much better. I had some pretty significant falls and spent the majority of the day eating snow. You'll notice in the picture above, which was a typical position of mine, that there was really no place for me to go but down. I came screaming into that intersection only to see that I was not going to be able to clear the fallen log. Unfortunately the fallen log turned out to be an ambush. While I was down and before this picture was snapped a herd of voracious squirrels flew down from the trees and took my ski socks. How they got them out of my boot is beyond me. Maybe they were in cahoots with the eye-patched, gritty men from Great Western.
Seeing as I have moved, I'm not sure if I will get any more skiing in this season. It's really sad. Thus, this is (likely) a birth announcement and death notice for the 2010-2011 ski season.

Leaving the Y. Why?

Well. The time has come. Or rather, the time has passed. My career as an undergraduate in Provo, UT is concluded. I don't yet have my diplomas, but they will be in the mail in a few months. I am headed to Washington, DC for my student teaching, after which I will officially graduate in April. When I'm done I think I will begin teaching mathematics in Sudan. I've thought a lot about where to teach and I think Sudan is just the whole package- warm climate, terrorist run government, lots of money (in piracy), and I've heard the students give lagniappes galore, such as sand, loin clothes, and AK-47s. That just sounds like a perfect fit for me.
There are a lot of things I'm going to miss about Provo. Excluding people, who are too many to list, the following are things I loved about Utah that will be hard to go on without: movie theaters with $1.50 admissions, the Provo River Parkway, free copies of The New York Times, and the Cannon Center.

• The Dollar Theater: Over the years I think I have discoursed enough on the virtues of only paying $1.50 for a movie ticket. I think I would be willing to sacrifice my appendix for a dollar theater in Boston or DC. I'm not entirely sure how those two are related, but if my appendix were worth a movie theater I would trade it in a heartbeat.
• The Provo River Parkway: This trail is glorious. There is anything better in the world than running shirtless along this path on a sunny, October, Saturday afternoon. Perhaps an august August afternoon would be better. And if you're a girl, probably forget the shirtless part, too. But all in all, I think they should name some type of cake the following: "Better than the Provo River Parkway cake." Oh wait, that doesn't exist.
• Free copies of The New York Times: There was  a partnership between BYU and the Times that allowed for free copies of the Times to be distributed around campus. I love picking up a copy in the morning and reading it over lunch in the afternoon. I continued this tradition for three years and saw it as a great asset to my education.
• The Cannon Center: I think I only ate at this cafeteria twice without being sick, but every time was worth it anyway. For a breakfast price of $6.80, there was all you could eat fruit, omelets, two other hot dishes, desserts, and chocolate milk. I think I once paid $6.80 for a glass of chocolate milk when I was on an airplane.  Anyway, I only go to the Cannon Center with people I love (Carson, my brother, Brook, Brad, Amy, Ada) so that makes me appreciate it even more. I did find the live cannon fire to be rather annoying whenever anyone ordered the 'cannon burrito' but I got used to it after six times. It was the 'rifle nachos' that scared me, mostly because my favorite seat was right at the end of the firing range and the plates they gave out were bulls eyes. I always thought that was strange and a little dangerous.

Yes, there are many more things I will miss about Utah, and I'm sure they'll become more prevalent as the time away deepens.

Complimentary Costco

Last weekend I had a Costco trip for the books. Just listen to the free samples they were offering around lunchtime, and the number of times I visited that booth:

• Red velvet cheesecake (2x)
• Banana nut bread
• Butter loaf cake
• Salmon on crackers (2x)
• Brie cheese on crackers (2x)
• Lobster dip on crackers
• Chicken and bean burritos
• Vitamin water (3x)
• Kettle corn popcorn
• Veggie meatballs (2x)
• Spicy BBQ chicken wings (2x)
• Anjou pears (2x)
• French onion soup
• Clam chowder
• Coffee (0x)
• Cheesy Rice soup

Honest to goodness I walked into the store hungry and left full. I almost felt like I should leave a tip at the door or something. The service was spectacular and I would recommend it to anyone. In addition to the mind blowing meal I was served I also got to try out a 3-D television. Perhaps the only thing greater than Costco in this world is the Indian Ocean. I just love that salty body... of water. Speaking of salty water, did you know that I am really tired? They didn't have any energy drinks for sample at Costco, but that didn't bother me because I don't drink them anyway. I don't like to associate with red bulls and since I have a rock star for a roommate I don't need to look any further than my own fridge for energy. I think maybe there was something weird in that French onion soup. Like rusty paper or burnt wire ends.