15 April 2011

Kids Say the Darndest Things...

Yesterday was my last day at the wonderful Duke Ellington School of the Arts in Washington, D.C. as a student teacher. As a parting gift my awesome mentor teacher bought some big posterboard and had all our kids sign it with messages. It has the feel of what you'd see in a yearbook. Many of the messages were hilarious to read so I've selected a few and am posting them with some commentary. Many of them can only be understood by a teenager, many of them only understood by a gangsta, and many of them can just never be comprehended. The following are exact quotes from my card, except for one or two names which will be denoted with asterisks. I tried to keep the feel of the messages as best I could even though I omitted some things that were too long.
  •  I loved your dancing was great. I'm glad I wasn't this child's English teacher. Dancing was an occasional occurrence in my class.
  • Imma miss you homeslice! If you ever come back (like your promised) imma teach you how to Jerk! LoL. it's gonna be weird not seein' you in the hallway but I guess i can deal! sniff sniff. To 'Jerk' means to do a specific dance called the 'Jerk.' Sometimes this child capitalized her 'i's and sometimes she did not.
  • Yo Yo Mr. Bennett. Thanx on da 1,000. Strictly from the Young Wolf M****** A.K.A. Moe Chill-A I'm still not sure what the 1,000 is. Apparently this student has three names and he signed them all on my card.
  • I'm goanna miss you! You was ji cool as #@!?. LoL. It's goanna be different without you. Don't forget me! She spelled 'gonna' wrong both times so I'll just assume she meant to write what she wrote. I had to ask what 'ji' meant and another student told me 'that means you're like really, REALLY cool.' I was flattered.
  • J****** C*****= Your wife. <3 This particular student, J.C. also made me a cake with my name on it. She's a sweetie.
  • Good Teaching young man! BIG DADDY PAPI SHMOOKY A.K.A. A****** Many students saw this card as an avenue to advertise their rap careers I think...
  • Be the king of numbers. <3 you! That's just good advice for a math teacher.
  • Mr. Bennett, I love your wonderfully abstract ways of teaching shapes, your sound effects, and enthusiasm. I wasn't even aware of all my sound effects until my mentor teacher told me they were really funny to listen to. Apparently I make them all the time, including when erasing the board and crossing off numbers.
  • We will mess you and your "funny" jokes. Lots of jokes, some not so well received.
  • Good job not straightening your hair. Your student teached the bestest. Once again, I'm glad I wasn't this girl's English teacher. My kids were really obsessed with my hair and the way that it fell straight down.
  • We'll miss you Mr. Handsome. After reading this another student said, "You know Mr. Bennett, you have a lot of perverts in your class." I disagreed with her, but it was a funny comment.
  • ily I had to ask, and apparently this is short for "I love you."
  • I will miss your corny/funny jokes in class. Enough Said.
  • Your class was hella fun. I enjoyed it. This student said about three things to me all semester so I was pleased to hear he thought class was fun.
  • "Bennett" "Swag" Teenagers these days love the word 'swag.' This was perhaps the most complimentary thing anyone could have written on my card.
  • One student drew a picture of Death with a sickle then wrote Thank you. He was kind of goth...
  • Thanks Mr. Bennett. For Math. Young Loud aka M******* I'm not sure why he wanted to be called Young Loud, but there you have it.
  • Your cool... and HANDSOME. P.S. Your very "funny" IMY! I learned that IMY stands for "I'll miss you."
  • Stay a THUG! I'm not sure I was ever a thug, but I guess now I get to stay one

4 comments:

Michelle said...

Loved this post. So much. Teeth Girl aka Michelle

brook said...

ghaha i was dying laughing
i love that they all took a chance to forward their rap careers on your poster.
i also love that michelle took her chance to do so...a few things:
1. you have always been a thug
2. king of numbers sounds like a totally ji cool gangsta name
3. i'm surprised you don't know how to jerk?!

ily. imy.
xoxo--bdiddy aka bruff dork aka brookie

Kent Christensen said...

"Imma miss you, homeslice!!!" That is PERFECTION!! Remember when you were leaving town and I didn't know quite how to tell you how I felt - well, now I do!! HILARIOUS!!!

Emily said...

Dave - Best post ever. Are you sure you want to teach out in the burbs?!?