They say that marriage is an adjustment, and even more so for members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) who don't co-habitat before marriage. Now that I've been married for the entirety of my adult, married life, I can say the adjustment hasn't been too bad. It could be that Caity and I spent ample amounts of time together before we wed- doing virtually everything together except going to bed- or the fact that we're both pretty easygoing, un-phased people, but the adjustment has hardly been one at all. I can honestly say that the only differences to married life have been fantastic ones! Granted we have a little bit of a unique life right now- neither of us are working or looking very hard for work. It's hard NOT to enjoy life when you're newlywed and enjoying a two month Summer break. I have learned a few things about marriage though, and I'd like to share them for posterity's sake:
- Pick your side of the bed wisely, for it will not change. Many a married couple can attest to this fact. I sleep on the right side of our bed. I'm not sure how it even started; I'm not sure if it was by assignment, lottery, default, process of elimination, or choice, but I am forever destined to the right side of the bed. One night while Caity was brushing her teeth I sneaked under the covers on the left side of the bed, and almost immediately thereafter a thunderstorm rolled in and caught our indoor fern on fire. There is no plausible explanation how the lightening could have caught the plant in our living room on fire except that I experimented with the other side of the bed. Never again.
- You won't sleep as well for the first few months of your marriage because it's a big change sharing a bed with someone. This one has turned out to be absolutely true. In order to cut on some costs of furnishing a new house, we made the decision that we wouldn't get a new bed. It's just so expensive buying a frame and mattress and bed spread and sheets and the like. Instead, we've just been sharing the twin bed that my previous roommate left when he moved out. We trucked it over to the new house and have been sleeping on it together. When I slept on it by myself my toes- 6 feet and 2 inches away from the headboard- hung over the edge. Now, with two of us, my right arm, toes, and bellybutton all hang off the edge on any given night. It's impossible to tell anything from your spouse's body language while you're going to bed because it's the same sort of crammed, fetal position every night. So yes, that little factoid is true- you definitely don't sleep as well after marriage.
- Marriage matures you. This bit of advice is also true. Since being married I've sold my motorcycle (true, actually), wised up on my sodium intake, and become a much more budgeted chopper. I used to cut celery and carrots completely sporadically, but since getting married and settling down a little I now realize the importance of keeping my ten fingers intact and chop with much greater awareness. I've grown-up a little in the area of cleanliness, too. No one wants a messy spouse. I've started by dusting the entire house. That sort of backfired on me when I dusted Caity's 10,000 piece puzzle, which she had already split up into 150 different groupings by color. My duster mixed them all together, which apparently she didn't like. Another cleaning goal I've had has been to always vacuum the living room carpet after I've walked on it. Caity thinks this is excessive, but I just keep telling her that marriage has matured me and I need to stop being a sloppy bachelor. She was particularly upset with me when I vacuumed after she laid out all her pearls on the living room floor to string them. I thought they were just old, perfectly round seashells that got left over when we emptied the beachbag on her ball gown! By the time she came back in the living room after getting a sip of lemonade I had already emptied the vacuum bag down the disposal (I find that much more sanitary than throwing it in the icky trash can) and turned it on. Needless to say she has NOT been pleased with my maturation process.
Yep, marriage has been great. It's had its few surprises, but with three weeks under my belt it's already had a profoundly positive affect on my life. I'd highly recommend it to anyone!