01 August 2009

Sticking With My Team- The Boston Red Sox

My roommate, David Ortiz, getting out of the shower. He's hustling as usual, to make sure there is enough hot water for me (what a great guy).
David and David sharing a moment. We are hugging, in case it wasn't abundantly clear.
My roommate, David Oritz. He's quiet, friendly, and I have never seen any sketchy behavior out of him- and certainly no steroid use.

When I began this blog sixteen months ago, I clearly stated in the preamble: "Some things that interest me that will probably be hashed and hashed over again until I pass out include the presidential election, the Red Sox & baseball in general, college, food, movies, current events, religion, exercising, and my convivial social life." (Yes, all of those are egotistical links to my own blog, thus proving what I started out to do last year. It took me about seventy-three days to create all those hyperlinks that no one is going to follow anyway, but I find it very important to be a man of my word, so if nothing else they are hollow proof that I have accomplished the feats of an honest man.) I found it surprising that the only one of my original topics yet to be postulated is religion. However, seeing as it's Saturday, we'll talk about baseball.
If you aren't much of a baseball devotee you may not be aware that my roommate, David Ortiz, was just listed as a steroid user in 2003. The headlines on the Boston Globe the next day pronounced, "Steroid Scandal Hits Home" and there were three misanthropic, cynical articles ripping the Boston hero apart like a good Michael Scott roast. Ortiz did not even know he tested positive that year, and he didn't know what he tested positive for! Maybe he ate a poppyseed bagel that morning! Maybe he was being secretly given supplements in the Dominican Republic that he thought were just "Flintstones's Kids Multivitamins." Seriously, give the guy the benefit of the doubt! Dan Shaughnessy wrote an animus article against a Red Sox Championship in '04 and '07, nearly denouncing the titles and claiming, "We were better cheaters than you." Does he know that steroids were not illegial in the MLB in 2003 and that there is a dearth of evidence against Big Papi since then? I don't deny that there was (and still is) a plague of 'roids milling around the incestuous clubhouses of American's Pasttime, but we need to stick with our boys until the evidence is abundently clear! For the time being, I am a huge David Ortiz fan, especially seeing as he is my roommate. I have a cut out of him in the room across from mine, where he sleeps. The whole time he's been there I've never seen him use any steroids or do anything suspicious. He's just as friendly as ever, although he often sneaks up on my and makes me jump a little, out of fright for his 6'4", 230 lbs frame. He is a large man. Anyway, our titles in 2004 and 2007 are no more tainted than anyone else's, and they came about through a different kind of chemistry, that of team building and a relaxed clubhouse. Way to go Red Sox, Way to go. Seriously, Way to Go.


Emily said...

David Ortiz has surprised me, too, David. It seemed like he used to do laundry all the time and every time I'd go down there - SURPRISE! You are so funny.

Viviana said...


I love your comments on Brook's blog. I hope I am not intruding by writing on yours but I had to tell you that you are just too funny. How do you come up with some of those things? The Otavala girl? And... you should go on a humanitarian trip some day. I am sure you would have a blast!!


Lyndsi Shae* said...

"I found it surprising that the only one of my original topics yet to be postulated is religion. However, seeing as it's Saturday, we'll talk about baseball."

This + Ortiz pictures = oh man, crackin up.

brook said...

if only i had a handsome roommate like yourself.....and he even sounds perfect! no messes. no noises. no smells (except maybe one of stale cardboard?).

Bethany said...

So, I was about 20 feet away from your roommate on Saturday night.. By the way, you Red Sox fans are insane. There were definitely more of you than Orioles fans at the game, including the father-son duo sitting next to me who kept screaming at "Papi" to steal home. Good times.

C.Jay said...

The two of you hugging is...tender. Absolutely tender.