Doing Time in the Lab

Something amazing happened today. Not the type of amazing you feel when you start to grow hair on your chin (if you are male), but the type of excitement you feel when you order a hamburger, forgetting to request 'No Mayo,' and the server only adds a little dallup of the white nastiness, as if she had read your mind. Yes, that type of amazing. Here's how it all went down:
I was studying in the front of the computer lab just minding my own business, headphones implanted in my cranium, gluteus maximus situated comfortably in the red velvet chair. At four o'clock sharp, with my senses distracted and my mind focused, abruptly the lights dimmed to closure and the door behind me shut defiantly. Of course my first thought was a 12 year old Swedish vampire girl, and I gave a little yelp. My second thought was a seductress, and I gave a little yelp. My third thought was a tennis player, but that did not elicit a yelp, just an inner chuckle. Turns out, they were all wrong. The lab 'technician' had come to close the lab, and apparently not noticing me, she shut the lights and locked the door.  In a strange mathematical captivity, I excogitated my options.

"Oh no David! Weren't you scared you'd be locked in there all night?" pleaded the damsel of my head. But I was not afraid.  Luckily at my Stake Presiden't advice I had just stocked my backpack with an emergency preparedness kit- enough candy to survive at least three weeks. Munching on a Baby Ruth I pondered what to do with my oxymoronic freedom. Well, here's what I did. I unplugged my headphones from the computer, turned the volume on the computer up as loud as it would go (seriously), and rocked out to Fleetwood Mac, singing aloud to "Sweet Little Lies!" It was A-W-E-S-O-M-E! No one saw it coming, especially not the lab technician. Ha! When my work was done I didn't even want to leave. I had the whole computer kingdom to myself! The Swedish vampire never came, the seductress was M.I.A., and the tennis player was (surprisingly) in the computer lab next door the whole time.