Kids Say the Darndest Things...

Yesterday was my last day at the wonderful Duke Ellington School of the Arts in Washington, D.C. as a student teacher. As a parting gift my awesome mentor teacher bought some big posterboard and had all our kids sign it with messages. It has the feel of what you'd see in a yearbook. Many of the messages were hilarious to read so I've selected a few and am posting them with some commentary. Many of them can only be understood by a teenager, many of them only understood by a gangsta, and many of them can just never be comprehended. The following are exact quotes from my card, except for one or two names which will be denoted with asterisks. I tried to keep the feel of the messages as best I could even though I omitted some things that were too long.

•  I loved your dancing was great. I'm glad I wasn't this child's English teacher. Dancing was an occasional occurrence in my class.
• Imma miss you homeslice! If you ever come back (like your promised) imma teach you how to Jerk! LoL. it's gonna be weird not seein' you in the hallway but I guess i can deal! sniff sniff. To 'Jerk' means to do a specific dance called the 'Jerk.' Sometimes this child capitalized her 'i's and sometimes she did not.
• Yo Yo Mr. Bennett. Thanx on da 1,000. Strictly from the Young Wolf M****** A.K.A. Moe Chill-A I'm still not sure what the 1,000 is. Apparently this student has three names and he signed them all on my card.
• I'm goanna miss you! You was ji cool as #@!?. LoL. It's goanna be different without you. Don't forget me! She spelled 'gonna' wrong both times so I'll just assume she meant to write what she wrote. I had to ask what 'ji' meant and another student told me 'that means you're like really, REALLY cool.' I was flattered.
• J****** C*****= Your wife. <3 This particular student, J.C. also made me a cake with my name on it. She's a sweetie.

• Good Teaching young man! BIG DADDY PAPI SHMOOKY A.K.A. A****** Many students saw this card as an avenue to advertise their rap careers I think...
• Be the king of numbers. <3 you! That's just good advice for a math teacher.
• Mr. Bennett, I love your wonderfully abstract ways of teaching shapes, your sound effects, and enthusiasm. I wasn't even aware of all my sound effects until my mentor teacher told me they were really funny to listen to. Apparently I make them all the time, including when erasing the board and crossing off numbers.
• We will mess you and your "funny" jokes. Lots of jokes, some not so well received.
• Good job not straightening your hair. Your student teached the bestest. Once again, I'm glad I wasn't this girl's English teacher. My kids were really obsessed with my hair and the way that it fell straight down.
• We'll miss you Mr. Handsome. After reading this another student said, "You know Mr. Bennett, you have a lot of perverts in your class." I disagreed with her, but it was a funny comment.
• ily I had to ask, and apparently this is short for "I love you."
• I will miss your corny/funny jokes in class. Enough Said.
• Your class was hella fun. I enjoyed it. This student said about three things to me all semester so I was pleased to hear he thought class was fun.
• "Bennett" "Swag" Teenagers these days love the word 'swag.' This was perhaps the most complimentary thing anyone could have written on my card.
• One student drew a picture of Death with a sickle then wrote Thank you. He was kind of goth...
• Thanks Mr. Bennett. For Math. Young Loud aka M******* I'm not sure why he wanted to be called Young Loud, but there you have it.
• Your cool... and HANDSOME. P.S. Your very "funny" IMY! I learned that IMY stands for "I'll miss you."
• Stay a THUG! I'm not sure I was ever a thug, but I guess now I get to stay one

Pi Day

American Historians have July 4th (Independence Day).
Somnambulists have January 3rd (Festival of Sleep Day).
Architects have September 3rd (Skyscraper Day).
Christians have December 25th (Christmas).
But what about math people? What do they have? Oh yea, that's right, we have PI DAY!

March 14th is Pi day, every year, celebrating the first three digits of the magnanimous Greek letter pi. This year for Pi day I went to school and taught about circles. But then I went to a pi party! All four of the people in the above picture are high school math teachers with a passion for pi (and pie, as you'd have it). At this party we shared our favorite math jokes (What did the 0 say to the 8? - I like your belt!) and talked about our favorite numbers. It was a major math fest that alienated all the non math nerds. Most people may want to look at this in disgust, but they would be ill advised to do so on March 14. That's our day. Word!
Pie was served at the party. I would say that it wasn't a very good place to pick up on chicks. Any girl I started a conversation with ended pretty quickly due to my math references...  Not even my favorite math pick up line worked- "Dang girl! Can I lay tangent to those curves?"
Note: My shirt was the first 3,045 digits of pi on it; the girl on the left has a shirt that has pi telling i to 'Get real!' and i responding with 'Be rational!'; the girl on the right's shirt says "QT pi"; and the girl on the far right is a Math Ninja, apparently.

I have been sufficiently warned against writing about my students in an open forum, such as a blog, so I think I'm going to tone my school experiences down a little. It's too bad because they are pretty humorous, but rather than go private I'll just write about something else for awhile. Like for one post.
Every month since coming to DC I have gone on a day trip to a new city. January was Philadelphia, February was New York, and on Saturday I went to Baltimore (for my March adventure). My good friend Michelle is a dental hygienist and located a museum in Baltimore that she really wanted to go to. Do you know what museum it was?  Of course you don't, unless your name is Brook. It was the National Museum of Dentistry! We planned a whole day trip to Baltimore around one museum dedicated to instruments of torture and clean teeth! While I didn't enjoy the evolution of dental picks I did enjoy the evolution of teeth among varying animals. Did you know shark teeth work in a conveyor belt style where once one row gets too worn down they fall off and another row of teeth slides into their place from farther back in their mouth? Teeth define our smiles, and I was able to recognize seven of ten celebrities by merely their smiles. I was only able to name 6 of 10 sharks by their smiles. I learned about the role of teeth in identifying exhumed bodies, the amazing responsibilities of saliva (mostly I was just wondering if there were any medical advantages to swapping spit. Hehe.), and the hazards of early X-rays. I learned the Inuit legend of how the narwhal got its large front tooth, aka horn, and how ancient Mayans used to put gems in the facades of their teeth. I learned proper brushing techniques and the dangers of plaque. All in all I was really pleased that I went and very satisfied that I got to do with someone who knew so much about dentistry- and was excited about it!

After the museum we drove by Camden Yards (Orioles Baseball park) and the football stadium.  We then ate at the world famous Broadway Diner where you are guaranteed at least three different servers- even if you only order water. Anyone who is anyone goes to the Broadway Diner when they're in town. We held our breath under the harbor and then drove home. It was a delightful first trip to Baltimore. Next time we're going in the evening to catch an Orioles game, a sunset, and some dinner. We'll, we probably won't catch the dinner; we'll just go back to the Broadway Diner.